Ahead of last night’s Senate vote that led to its passage of the Respect for Marriage Act (RFMA), Chasten Buttigieg posted a heartfelt blog post and series of tweets detailing the beauty of his marriage with Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg.
Beside a photo of two high chairs and a messy counter filled with empty plates, bibs, boogie wipes, sippy cups, and toothbrushes, Chasten wrote that staring at “the aftermath of our chaotic morning together” is “what marriage is to me.”
The Senate is poised to vote on the #RespectForMarriageAct today.
This morning, after dropping the kids off, I came home and stopped to take in the aftermath of a chaotic morning. And it got me thinking.
This is what marriage is to me. 🧵 pic.twitter.com/xJqJiD1TPD
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
He detailed the family’s “hurried but hilarious breakfast full of giggles and music” as Pete danced around the room, getting ready for work while his twins ate.
He said that to him, marriage is about the “mornings spent negotiating the daily schedule while stuffing diaper bags. It’s the sweat-inducing challenge of getting a sweater on a wiggling toddler and the smile that comes from how cute they are once you succeed.”
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“It’s scattered building blocks on the floor and scrambled eggs on the wall. It’s goodbye kisses at the door and thermoses of coffee in the minivan. It’s having the right to juggle it all with the person who makes you feel loved and supported amidst the chaos.”
To him, marriage equality means “the right to have a shoulder to lean on at the end of the day” and “the promise of hard work for your partner, your kids, and for us, our country.”
He went on to detail the love his marriage has fueled and the preciousness of his union, and he voiced his hope that the Senate would ” listen to over 70% of Americans and vote to protect families like mine and the unions that make us all better Americans.”
Our family and our union push me to make sure we leave our kids a country and a world they can thrive in so that they, too, can enjoy all of the love and light and happiness that Pete and I have known simply by falling in love with one another.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
And that wish came true.
Yesterday evening, the Senate voted 61-36 to pass the RFMA. All Democrats who were present voted for the bill as well as 12 Republicans.
The bill now goes back to the House of Representatives for another vote because it was amended in the Senate. The House is expected to pass the bill and President Joe Biden is expected to sign it.
The RFMA would overturn the Defense of Marriage Act and require the federal government and state governments to recognize same-sex and interracial marriages performed in other states.
I know how precious this union is and how sacred and fragile our unions can be in the eyes of our ever-changing democracy. We are not yet afforded the pleasure of letting our shoulders down, of taking a breath. We are fully aware that some desperately want to take this away.
— Chasten Buttigieg (@Chasten) November 29, 2022
On his Twitter account, Pete said that he felt “strange” to that the Senate was debating his marriage at all.
“Strange feeling, to see something as basic and as personal as the durability of your marriage come up for debate on the Senate floor,” he wrote.
But I am hopeful that they will act to protect millions of families, including ours, and appreciate all that has gone into preparing this important legislation to move forward.
— Pete Buttigieg (@PeteButtigieg) November 29, 2022
Proponents of the bill say that it’s necessary now that the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, which shared part of its legal framework with Obergefell v. Hodges, the decision that legalized marriage equality in all 50 states in 2015. Justice Clarence Thomas said that the Court should “reconsider” Obergefell in his concurring opinion in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the case that overturned Roe this past summer.
Chasten ended his tribute to his marriage with Pete by telling members of Congress they are always welcome to visit their family.
“Our playroom is always open,” he said, “should you want to meet a family who is just trying their best to make their kids happy and their country better, just like you.”
On Twitter, people responded with love.
I have a huge lump in my throat after reading your thread. The things we take for granted are the things we should NOT take for granted;you clearly made that important point!Your beautiful description of a typical morning in a home filled w/love has not gone unnoticed.Thankyou.❤️
— Gwen Hargrove ☮️ (@mogremom) November 29, 2022
This is the marriage and the life we all want. We all should have the opportunity. Love only comes around a few times in our lives. We should honor it. For as long as a union is happy and healthy, who cares who makes that union?
Thank you for sharing your family and thoughts.— Chuckie Jane. Post.news/ImLaurieS 💜🇺🇦 (@ImLaurieS) November 29, 2022
After 30+ years with my wife.
Changing careers
Interstate moves
Physical challenges
Two kids
Now three grandkids
You nailed it.— Ol' Grumpy Ape (@curmudgeon_red) November 29, 2022
Just like Pete, you are a gift to this country and your voice needs to be heard. May your love always shine brightly in a world that accepts not questions all love.
— Puck Bunny (@NHLPuckBunny) November 29, 2022
This is so perfect. Your words are so powerful in conveying the love that you have for your family. You deserve every bit of happiness. I wish our world wasn’t so hateful.
— EverydayAmerican (@LilyYvesMom) November 29, 2022