Commentary

Matt Bomer & Nathan Lane will soon star in a very gay “Golden Girls”-style show

According to the description, a 46-year-old counts as an old person.
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Sep 17, 2017; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Matt Bomer arrives on the red carpet at the 69th Emmy Awards at the Microsoft Theater.
Sep 17, 2017; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Matt Bomer arrives on the red carpet at the 69th Emmy Awards at the Microsoft Theater. Photo: Dan MacMedan-USA TODAY

Matt Bomer, a 46-year-old gay heartthrob, is set to star in a “Golden Girls-like” sitcom and oh my god, I’m literally having some sort of mental and emotional breakdown right now.

According to Variety, the 46-year-old dreamboat will star opposite famous gay actor Nathan Lane and ally Linda Lavin in Mid-Century Modern, a multi-cam series from gay executive producer Ryan Murphy and Will & Grace creator David Kohan. The show will stream on Hulu.

Related:

Actor Matt Bomer lost the role of Superman after he was outted as gay

“That was a time in the industry when something like that could still really be weaponized against you.”

A press release from the streaming service describes the show thus: “The series follows three best friends — gay gentlemen of a certain age – who, after an unexpected death, decide to spend their golden years living together in Palm Springs where the wealthiest one lives with his mother and a naked Gen Z housekeeper.”

“Gentlemen of a certain age”??? “Golden years”??? Matt Bomer is 46! And he looks like a literal Ken doll! In fact, he passed on playing a Ken in last summer’s mega-hit Barbie!

Read on, while I, a 41-year-old gay dude, call my lawyer to get my affairs in order because, according to this show, I will be as good as dead in five years.

“‘Mid-Century Modern’ stars Nathan Lane as Bunny Schneiderman, Matt Bomer as Jerry Frank, and Linda Lavin as Sybil Schneiderman, Bunny’s mother,” Hulu’s description continues.

“A successful businessman with one foot in retirement, Bunny is forever in search of love, but he first has to be convinced he’s worthy of it. Like her son, Sybil’s strengths are her weaknesses: wise, caring, and iconoclastic – which sometimes means she’s critical, smothering and amoral. Jerry left the Mormon Church and his marriage in his early 20s after his wife informed him and the rest of the congregation that he was a homosexual. Now a latter-day saint in the literal sense of the term, Jerry is pure of heart. He is also hard of body and soft of head,” the description continues.

According to Variety’s unnamed sources, Bomer’s character will be the show’s Rose Nylund analog — a Golden Girls character played by Betty White (a recently deceased national treasure), who was 63 when The Golden Girls premiered in 1985.

I mean, what even is this world we’re living in where politicians can continue piloting the country on a kamikaze mission directly into the literal sun well into their 80s while gay men are basically put out to pasture the minute they turn 45??? Al Pacino had a kid last year and he’s 83! Meanwhile, 20-something twinks are calling 34-year-old gays “daddy” on social media!

I mean, I guess the upshot is that I can retire next year and live out my twilight years drinking heavily in Boca before dying peacefully in a kaftan at the ripe old age of 50.

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